My Open Letter to....
Today, I need to just have a down-right gripe at a few things that have been bothering me over the last week or so. Therefore, I've written an open letter to the following people....


The Lawn Care Dudes Hired by our Association,
While I appreciate the fact that I don't have to mow the lawn or trim the edges around the sidewalk and driveway, I would really appreciate it if you would be careful when you use the weed whip. You see, you're in such a hurry to get the job done, that you don't take into consideration that my container garden of tomatoes, won't actually stay as a container if your weed whip continues to take little chunks out of my containers!

The same goes for our sidewalk lights. Last summer you busted 3 out of the 5 with your weed whip. I've also noticed that our neighbors across the road are in the same situation. Please be more careful.

Thank you.


Coborns Grocery Store,
I am no longer shopping at your store. OK. I lied. I'm shopping there for the occasional package of buns and other random items we run out of and need ASAP.

Why won't I do my weekly shopping with you any more? Too many items that are out of date. While the Big Guy (and my mother) will challenge me on the date that appears on a package (is it sell by? use by? expires by?), I refuse to buy cream cheese that is 3 weeks past the date on the package. Or the Boca burgers that expired back in August 2008. Yes. I found those a few weeks ago believe it or not.

Regardless, I've encountered too many of these similar incidents and refuse to shop with you any more.

Thank you.


iTunes
Did I miss the memo that songs are now anywhere from .99 cents to $1.49 to download? How is that price determined?

While trying to make my annual CFAB summer mix CD for my camp friends, I was surprised to discover this. I mean, really...is Michael Jackson's Black or White really that popular that you need to charge me $1.29? Or by paying $1.29 am I helping Michael pay off his back taxes? Just checking.

Thank you.


The School I Work For
As much as I love working for you, I get frustrated at the end of the month when you post that you'll be cleaning out the fridge on our floor and will be "throwing away all food items." Then, when it comes time, you don't toss out the stuff left behind.

I'm sorry, but if the sign says that you're tossing out everything, do it. I know. I know. You get complaints because you tossed out someones yogurt. Look....I get it. No one likes to be yelled at. But you posted a sign. You posted it out on our intranet page. You sent an e-mail. If someone isn't smart enough to remove their items, too bad.

Thank you.


OK. I feel better now. Have a great weekend everyone!

I Feel Like a Smartypants....
This weekend I taught myself how to do some creative blog tricks.

While I've only begun to dip my toe into the HTML pool, I totally feel like a blogger smartypants.

If you want to see what I did (creative header & "buttons")--click here to view the auction blog talk about a shameless plug for the auction--which begins June 22nd *cough, cough*

Last year I had someone design the blog and while I like what she did, I like the "scrapbook" look a lot better. I used a free background from Shabbyblogs, and did the rest on my own using Scrapblog. All of which were free and very easy to use.

The HTML stuff? Well, I did some "creative borrowing" using the HTML code from the Card Blog. Code is code (or so I'm told). But since I don't understand the random placement of quotes, letters and other random things, I just copied and pasted and figured it out!

Now be the nice bloggy visitors that you are, click over to the auction blog and check it out (and bookmark it so you can come back the week of the 22nd and spend lots of money for a good cause.)

No Going Back Now!
We put down a deposit today on our wedding venue & picked out a wedding band for the Big Guy.

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

No going back now.

Here are some of the details because people have been asking *cough* Not Too Sticky *cough* : )

Wedding date: May 2010

Invited Guests: None, besides immediate family only.

Reception: September 2010, this is where folks are invited. The reception is totally laid back where we'll do a weekend of fun, including trap/target shooting, shopping, lawn games, good food, good people, bonfire, s'mores, the whole shabang (read: no stress).

Reception favors: We're having a hog roast and will be handing out tins of custom made spice rub with the recipe so you can make your own. For the kids in attendance we will have Sugar Daddy caramel suckers. Yes, there is a story behind that....it's from our first date. Totally PG story, but funny none the less.

Wedding location: University of Minnesota Landscape Arboretum. Here's a pic of the garden we are having the wedding. It's an herb garden! I won't go into the fact that I am having my wedding at a rival school. Our hockey team is still better.


Dress: My mom is making it and I cannot post it here. The Big Guy does read the blog. Granted, he reads it every 6 months or so, but he does read it.

Bridesmaid's Dress: My mom is making that too. Yeah. My mom is talented like that. Total cost for material for my dress and the bridesmaid's dress? $89. Yes...8.....9.

Colors: Pear green, khaki and lavender.

Unique wedding fact: We will not be walking down the aisle. The Big Guy and I will actually be in the garden with our wedding party and the family will walk in and be seated. Why? Because I didn't want to walk down the aisle and be the center of attention. The kicker....this was the Big Guy's idea. Not the walking down the aisle part, the being there before everyone else part!

Flowers: Hydrangeas. Here's the thing. I'm not paying for flowers. I can't justify the cost. So, I'm going fake. I know...I know...the horror! But really, I found some pretty realistic fake flowers. For $30 I get flowers to make my bouquet, my Maid of Honor's bouquet and corsages. Really people, it's not a big deal. I promise.

Wedding Party: Julie, my best friend who I met at Space Camp 21 years ago. Yes. I went to Space Camp. Weston is the Big Guy's best friend who he met in Broadcasting school. Yes. The Big Guy used to be a DJ. It's really annoying that he can name songs at the drop of a hat along with countless trivia. It's really, really, annoying.

Photography: We have made contact with an awesome wedding photographer. I'm not saying who it is yet. We are waiting for the contract. But let's just say this--she is so stinkin' amazing that I cannot wait to have her take photos of us.

Did I mention that I cannot wait? Once I have it signed, sealed and deposit paid, I will link you to her blog. Odds are, once you see her blog you'll know who she is.


There you have it. A little wedding detail 4-1-1. Totally non-frilly and I love it.

Life Like a Scrapbook....
I know you're all on pins and needles waiting to hear how the Diane Keaton lecture went! Well, here it is....my recap of the lecture.

I attended the lecture by myself. I wasn't able to find anyone to go with me as it's the Thursday before Memorial Day. If you are anywhere remotely close to the state of Minnesota you know that Memorial Day is the kick off to summer. It is also the kick off to the weekend commute "up north". I anticipate that today will be a nightmare going up north.

I'm happy to be sticking close to home!

Anyway, because of the timing of the lecture, I had to fly solo. But it's OK! I didn't mind!

I know you all want to know, so I'll tell you. Diane Keaton looked amazing. She wore this skirt. It made me wish I worked out so I could have pulled off her outfit! But in all seriousness, she looked great. She mentioned during the lecture that she will not do any sort of plastic surgery, botox, fillers, etc. All I have to say is....thank God!! I love that she is still natural...and again....stunning.

The lecture itself could be best described as a visual scrapbook. She mentioned that as a child her mom created scrapbooks--but they probably weren't as appreciated as they could have been. She also stated that it wasn't uncommon to have magazine pages as part of collages and scrapbooks growing up!

Diane's lecture was unlike Ms. Rashad's lecture--she showed clips of her mother, her kids, leading men, movies, etc. rather than sitting on the couch and sharing. It literally was her scrapbook. That is the really cool thing about the series--each person who lectures does what they want to do! It's nice to know that every lecture is different.

She has never married ("...I've never been asked!"), yet longed to have a family after her father was diagnosed with a brain tumor, that eventually resulted in his death. Therefore, she adopted two children, her first at 50, her second at 55. She's 63 now. She stated that her love for those two precious faces are more than she could have ever imagined--which gives me hope for when the Big Guy and I adopt!

She talked about her leading men and while she doesn't have a favorite, she did say she enjoyed kissing Jack Nicholson more than Keanu Reeves. Why? Age and experience!

What I took away from this lecture was that Diane wanted us to make memories. It is obviously different for everyone, but she ended her lecture with a great quote: Memories are like pictures captured in your heart.

Go forward, kids....make memories any way you know how. Fill your heart!


On a side note, I did get to meet her and have a photo taken with her. I don't know if I'll ever see that photo (I hope too!), but she was by far very gracious and lovely to chat with. I thanked her for a fun lecture and told her how much I appreciated meeting her. To be honest, I was a little star-struck! However, if I am able to get the photo, I will be sure to post it.

Random Thoughts (and photos!)....
I'm officially on vacation.

*insert the heavens opening and the angels singing....*

My first day of vacation will include going to the dentist to get my crown, as well as meeting Diane Keaton tonight! Sad thing is, I think I need to go do a little shopping this afternoon to find a little something to wear. Kohl's....here I come.

We have had some unseasonably warm weather the last two days. On Tuesday it was 97 degrees. Too hot for me! I got home and noticed the inside/outside thermometer. Here's a photo:

For the record, no, I did not get home at 9:55 p.m. (the clock is off, obviously). It was 5:45 p.m.. It was 78 degrees in the house and 106 degrees in the sun.

106 in the sun.

Good grief. Thank the Lord for AC. It was flipped on and the house was promptly cooled off to a nice 72 degrees. If it's too hot, I can't sleep.

I need my sleep.

My friend Kendra went to one of my favorite places, Grand Forks, ND. Yes. North Dakota. Anyway, she went for a visit and I asked her to pick up Chippers for me.

Chippers? What are chippers you ask? A little slice of heaven, they are! Chocolate Covered Potato Chips, my friends, and no, the chips are not soggy.

Wipe that freaked out expression off your face. They're lovely!

This was taken right before I opened them and shared them with my co-workers. The bag is officially now 3/4 gone.

So, while you ponder how in the world anyone would want to eat chocolate and potato chips in the same bite, I'm off to find the perfect shirt or skirt or something to wear to meet Diane Keaton.

Did I mention I'm meeting her? hee hee hee : )

Do You Think She Messes With Her Wiki Page?
Thursday evening I will get to attend the Smart Talk series again! This time, it's with Ms. Diane Keaton.


While she wasn't able to answer any blogger questions as planned, we have been told that she enjoyed our questions and hopes to use them in her lecture.


I took your suggestions and asked her what it was like working with Jack Nicholson, what is next for her, if her clothing line with Ellen is really going to happen (hello? Wide leg trouser pants, anyone?), and how she stays so young.


Being me, I also tried to be witty. The key word here is tried.


I asked her, "Do you ever go onto your Wikipedia page and change the information just to see if anyone is paying attention?"


We'll see if it comes up! I promise to share more about the event on Friday!

Towel Folding 101...

A few months ago, the Big Guy and I got into a tiff over folding sheets.

Silly argument.....yes.

Important for one's sanity.....yes.

Realizing that guys don't give a hoot about folded sheets....yes.

I finally told the Big Guy that he just needs to suck it up and fold the sheets and towels if they're in the dryer and need to be folded. This isn't just a Kelley task.

Tonight, he pulled out the sheets and towels and started to fold them. I was taking a photos of the recently donated items for our silent auction and I looked over to see him folding a towel. I had to stop him because I may not care about the sheets, but I do care about the towels. I know. I'm a dork.

I showed him how I wanted it folded. When I was done it looked like this:

He then continued to fold the sheets and towels and I look over and see this:

Which caused me to grab the camera. Which caused the Big Guy to say, "You are not going to blog about this!"

Oh. Like that would stop me. Ask Amy.

So, I took said photos and I noticed him trying to fold the fitted sheet. I walked him through the fitted sheet folding. I then said, "Come on! We'll do a step-by-step for all the bachelors out there!" Which then resulted in this photo:

So much for the step by step sheet folding.

Seriously though. I adore him for sucking it up and just folding the sheets. But it cracks me up that Mr. National Honor Society and mega-high IQ can't fold a fitted sheet.

I'll still keep him. I heart you Big Guy!

Who Does She Think She Is?
I'm so bummed!!

Diane Keaton isn't able to answer any blogger's questions prior to the Smart Talk series this Thursday due to her busy schedule.

Come on....I had some good questions, too. It isn't every day that I get to hear about what it was like working with Jack Nicholson, when her clothing line with Ellen is coming out, and if she ever goes into her Wikipedia page and messes with the details just to see if anyone is watching.

So, I guess I'll just have to wait and see if she answers any of my questions at the Smart Talk lecture.

I'll keep you posted (hopefully we can take photos this time. Ms. Rashad said, "no" at the last lecture).

My Hope....
It is no surprise to anyone who reads my blog that I went to the University of North Dakota for my undergraduate degree. I am proud alumni and love hockey because of UND. In fact, when I was a hall director at Bowling Green State University in Ohio, I took my RA's to a hockey game on campus. I was so excited to see a hockey game, I could not wait for the puck to drop at 7:05 p.m. When we got the arena, I walked in and said, "THIS is your hockey arena?" It was the size of a high school ice rink. I was so bummed I couldn't even get into the game.

Now that's saying something!

Yesterday I received an e-mail from the UND alumni office stating that the State Board of Higher Education voted 8-0 in favor of retiring the Fighting Sioux nickname and logo.

I was devastated.

If you don't know why this is on the table, just google Fighting Sioux Name Change NCAA and you can read all about it. But my hope is that this goes down in the history books that this name change came about because of the NCAA thought that UND's nickname and logo were hostile and abusive. Not because UND alumni, students and fans abused it.

See, the funny thing is? A lot of people--including many Sioux tribe members--don't feel it is disrespectful, hostile or abusive. So what gives?

We don't wear war paint.
We don't dress in fringed pants or moccasins.
We don't have a guy dressed up in a Native American outfit, riding a horse, holding a spear.
We don't whoop or chant in a disrespecting manner.
We don't do the tomahawk chop.

If our school did these things, I could completely understand the issue. I'd be disappointed too.

As students & alumni, we attend the annual Pow-wow on campus.
We wear green and white Fighting Sioux shirts with pride.
Before every game we watch a video on the jumbo-tron about how the nickname came to be and how we need to be respectful and honor the Sioux tribe.
We have majors & minors in Indian Studies.
Our logo--not a mascot--was designed by a Native American artist.

I ask you, NCAA, how in the hell did you come to the conclusion that the nickname--adopted back in 1930--was disrespectful, hostile and abusive? I don't get it.

Side note to all the University of Minnesota alumni: we still have a better hockey team. Amen.

I Got Nothin'....
As my attention has been focused on the online silent auction, I find that I've got nothing blog worthy to write about.

Oh, sure, I could write about the students I work with who don't take responsibility for their actions (what else is new?). Or I could write about the little old lady at the end of our townhome row who still gets worked up over residents parking in the "visitor" parking (I'd like to know what she thought of the boat parked there this weekend....).

But I'm not feeling it.

OH! I do know that you're waiting on pins and needles about the interview with Diane Keaton! My questions were sent (thanks for all of your suggestions!) and now....we wait.

Here's wishing for some good bloggy karma!

Assistance Needed....
Oh, my bloggy readers.

How I love thee. When I use thee I feel like I'm putting my English major to good use. ha!

I'm working on the Online Silent Auction for our 3-day team, and have been asking people left and right what they would like to see in an online auction.

Here is what we've asked for so far (most of these are repeat donations from last year that were a big, big hit!)....

• Craft items from my mom, my mom's friend Peg, Amanda's mom, Tracy and Mommy of M's
• Coffee from Caribou (year of beans and a year of drinks)
• Round of golf at Grand View Lodge
• Gift Basket from New Belgium Brewery (they make Fat Tire)
• philosophy beauty products
• Vine Park brewing company gift certificate
• Coborn's grocery store gift card (If you're in MSP, Coborn's Delivers!)
• Fresh food items like salsa and caramels & English toffee
• Free chiropractic services

I know my team has been working the connections as well. But the question on the table is, if you were going to a silent auction--what would you want to bid on?

Help me out, people. This will help me to work the connections and look to places I have yet to connect with!

Then I Got the Stink Eye....
This weekend my best friend, Julie, and I went out to the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum to see about having the wedding out there next year. Since we're looking at May for the wedding, going out now to see the flowers, trees and other plants would give us a good indication as to what to expect for the greenery.

Oh. Did I not tell you? Yeah. I changed my mind as to where to have the wedding.

After this post, you shouldn't be surprised.

Anyway, Julie brought her little peanut, Lily with her to check out the gardens with us. Lily is 2 1/2 and has the bluest eyes & the curliest strawberry blonde hair. She's also a complete ham.

As we walked over to the Japanese Garden, the path lead down to the coy fish pond. We tried to see the fish and while we couldn't really see any, Miss Lily decided to take off her sunglasses. While holding them in her hand, she was pointing at the flowers (or a rock, or a bug, or something) across the small pond. I thought, "Oh no....those sunglasses are going to go for a dunk in that mucky coy pond...."

While I may not have children, I do know the drama of young children.

Sunglasses in the coy pond = 2 1/2 year old melt down.

So, being the good friend I am, I said to Lily, "Honey, let me hold these for you." As I gently took them out of her hand she turned around and gave me the glaring stink eye.

Oh. Yes. She. Did.

Julie said, "Oh, did she give you the stink eye? She's good at that." Which then caused Lily to turn on her little-pink-tennis-shoe-heal and head off to her mama, her curls bouncing.

Well. I guess she told me, huh?

If You See Smoke, Does That Mean Fire?
Yesterday my day started off at one of my least favorite places.

The dentist.

First, let me say this. Like most people, I don't like the dentist. For people who don't like the dentist--and sometimes have a fear of the dentist--that means that they may not go as often as they should.
Until 3 years ago, I was one of those people. I won't say how long it was between office visits--but it was long enough.

Prior to that visit 3 years ago, I had a cleaning that was the worst experience of my life. I know I may be dramatic sometimes, but this was honestly a terrible, terrible, experience. The hygienist who cleaned my teeth was so rough that I cried. Her response? "Oh, it's not that bad."

Now you see why I didn't go back.

Three years ago, I had to go because a part of a filling broke away and needed to be repaired. I remember sitting in the hygienist chair and before she even said, "Hi, I'm Kathy" I started crying.

Oh. Yes. I. Did.

But she and Dr. B. calmed my fears and I have been a religious to-the-dentist-every-6-months-on-the-dot girl.

Yesterday I went in because I have to have a crown. The same thing happened as before only on another tooth. A tooth with large fillings cannot be filled again, so a crown must be put in place. To do so, they need to drill out the filling, build it up and put on the crown.

Because I have such a sensitive gag reflex, anytime I have major dental work (fillings, mostly), I have to use the gas. Granted, I kinda look like the Big Guy when he wears his CPAP machine mask at night.

Only I'm more relaxed and slightly tipsy.

So, I'm numbed up, hooked up to the gas and we begin the procedure. As I'm staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling (note to Dr. B....can we work on some flat panel TV's instead?), when all of a sudden I saw a huge cloud of smoke.

Through my tipsy-gas-induced fog I began to wonder, "What the *$@& was that?"

I'm not talking about a smoke whisp like this.....



I'm talking smoke cloud like this....


Trying to be aware of what is going on in my mouth I start to ask myself...
"is my mouth hot?" no. possible bad breath? yes. But hot? no.
"is the drill on fire?" no. If it was, I'm sure Dr. B would take it out of my mouth. I hope.

Dr. B. must have noticed my inquisitive look--that or wanted to make sure I was still on planet Earth and not floating away on my gas trip--because he said, "You're doing great kid!"

I then began to wonder, if a drill does catch on fire, would that be covered by my insurance? My insurance is good, but not that good.

Is This Normal?
One of my co-workers is getting married in just a few short weeks. We have been sharing stories about weddings, ideas, etc.

We are both on the same page. We are no where near this.....



We're wondering. Is this normal?

See. Here's the thing. I know my co-worker and I are looking forward to being married. You know--sharing your life with someone, sharing a bank account and then asking the future hubs about his $400 purchase at Best Buy, wondering when and if he will ever rinse his dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, and if it is best to either invest in twin beds or a king size bed because he turns into a human burrito each night with the blankets.

I cannot speak with my co-worker on this point however (though I think she feels somewhat similar): Why in the world do we have to have a wedding to begin with?

This is where I think I'm not normal.
I'm far from bridezilla.
But I'm not even all that excited for the wedding.

The marriage? Yes.
The wedding? Not so much.

I don't want to walk down the aisle (seriously).
I don't even want to spend money on flowers (I'm going fake. Thankyouverymuch).
The idea of a bridal shower makes me groan.
The Knot website makes me gag.
If I have to see another "wedding idea board" with cut out photos of hair styles, flowers and center pieces, I'm going to scream.

I've got a stomach ache right now just typing this.

Because I'm not the giddy bride, I wonder what is wrong with me. I have found myself asking lately, "If I was marrying (enter ex-boyfriend's name here), would I be feeling different?" The answer to that question is a big, fat NO.

Every little argument that the Big Guy and I have lately (for the record--they're all stupid little arguments), I wonder, "If we were married would this be grounds for divorce?"

It frustrates me that I feel like I have to do the dress, the flowers, the favors, the cake, the music etc. I know that I can do what ever I want because it's my day. But honestly, I feel like I'm going to be letting down my parents and future in-laws.

The last thing I need is my mother on her death bed saying, "....and I never got to see you get married!"

As an only child...this is a lot of pressure.

Really, what I want, is to just do it already. I really just want to go down to my grandparents church, stand in front of Pastor Carrie and say, "Yes, I do, now where do I sign?"

Bloggy readers...help me. Is this normal or do I need to look at seeing a therapist?

HELP!! Seriously...HELP!!!
If you could do a blog interview with, say, Diane Keaton, what would you ask?

I'm not kidding. I get to do an interview with Diane Keaton as part of the Smart Talk Lecture Series. Answers to the questions will be posted here! How exciting is that?!?!

HELP! I don't know what to ask besides, "What was it like to work with Martin Short & Steve Martin in Father of the Bride?"

Give me some ideas!

**UPDATED TO ADD: Thank you everyone for your questions! I've gathered them and sent them off to Ms. Keaton. I've been told I should have her answers by next week. WHOO!

Why Having a Scanner Can Be Fun....
As I mentioned a few posts ago, I broke down and bought a new printer. It's a fancy, schmancy printer that allows you to scan, copy and print. I love it so. The best part about it is that it is wireless. I can be on my laptop in the living room and print to the spare bedroom where the printer is located.

While it is fun to print from the comfort of the couch, I love that I have been able to scan old photos and save them to a disk so in case something happens to the prints, I have the photos saved!

I feel it is important that today I pay tribute to my friend Heather, another UND alumni. Heather is my smarty-pants friend. She's an engineer. Her husband is also a smarty-pants. He's a teacher of history and government. I call her husband when I don't understand what the Big Guy is fussing about when it comes to politics.

Anyway, here are some great photos of Heather.
And me.
And Amy.

That sound you hear? That's Amy saying, "Why...why...why?"

Because I can. Bwaaaaah ha ha ha ha ha ha

Amy & Heather at our conference retreat, summer 1995.

It was dark.

We were silly.

Amy said, "Let's see how many people we can get on a log!"

This was at the "Two on a log!" point of the game.

Here is the result of the total number on the log.

That, or the rest of our retreat group thought we were nuts.

Either way, we got 5 on that log.

I love that when Heather grabbed me around the waist,

it shows how big my butt really is.

It is clear I was in my plaid phase.

Stacy, me and Heather hanging out in Amy's residence hall room.

I can't write "dorm." They'll take away my hall director card.

Again...where in the world is Stacy? Stacy? Where are you? We miss you!

Why the Heather tribute today?

It's Heather's Birthday!

Happy Birthday, HF! My life hasn't been the same since you came into it. And for that? I am so, so, so grateful.

Lord, Help Us All....
I was on my way into work yesterday and stopped at Cub to pick up a few things. We are having an office pot luck today and I'm in charge of the cookies. I got those ever incredible soft sugar cookies with the thick icing and sprinkles.

Yeah. I predict I'll have at least one.
Or two.
Or 12.

Anyway, I stopped by to pick up my Cracked Pepper and Olive Oil triscuts (oh, how I love thee) and stopped dead in my tracks.

I saw this.



Really?

100 Calorie Packs of OREO CAKESTERS?

Not just in chocolate but in the GOLDEN VANILLA?

I picked up a box, got to work, did a little presentation, came back to my desk and ripped open one of the packs. Staring up at me were three little Oreo Cakesters (it is a 100 calorie pack after all). I popped one in my mouth and exhaled. Amazingly delish. The next thing I know, all three were gone.

Then it hit me.

If I don't get rid of these ASAP, those little 100 calorie packs will be 500 calories on my hips in a span of 3.5 seconds. They were quickly passed out to co-workers and I felt proud for giving them away.

OK...I lied. I did keep one more pack which I ate after dinner.