Yeah, sure, youbetcha!

Dear Little Old Neighbor Lady....

I feel that it is time that we had a friendly neighborhood conversation. And I don't mean about how you get your flowers to look so pretty or how your lawn is a neat as a pin.

No, I'm sorry, but I'm talking about how you feel it is your right to patrol the visitor parking spaces at the end of our little driveway.

As you know, dear neighbor, back in June you gave me a scolding because I chose to park in one of those visitor spaces. Little did you know that I parked there because I got home before the Big Guy on a Sunday afternoon. And because I had to work the next morning, and he didn't, we didn't want to play the car shuffle game. You know this as well as I do since we all have 1 car garages.

So I parked there.

And did so because at the time, I didn't realize that they were visitor parking spaces. Because to my knowledge, visitor parking spaces are usually marked with a sign. These are not.

Anyway, if you remember, you decided at 6:00 a.m. on that Monday morning that I needed to get the tongue lashing of my life because I parked there. You stood in your driveway and wagged your finger at me. You proceeded to tell me that if I park there that waste management can't collect your trash because you want to put your trash can on the grass corner at the end of your driveway (which shares road space with the visitor parking spots).

We interrupt this ranting for a visual of the above mentioned visitor spot....

The Two Visitor Spaces, and the Grassy Corner where she wants to put her trash...

Now back to our regularly scheduled blog post...

I had to remind you 3 times that I'm leaving for the day, and therefore, waste management will have no issues getting your trash.

Oh, but you're smart! You said in a rebuttal statement, "But when you leave then she'll park there" referring to our mutual neighbor.

I kindly, but firmly, said, "I'm sorry you have an issue with this, but I need to leave" and rolled up my car window and took off. All the while I'm praying to the Lord above that I don't get into an accident while driving 80 MPH so that I don't miss my bus into Minneapolis.

And ironically 3 days after we had our issue, we all received a friendly letter from the homeowners association reminding us of various rules and policies--including parking.

Wonder how that came to be? Which of course, this letter got me labeled as a trouble-maker by the Big Guy and my co-workers. Thankyouverymuch.

But I have just had the last straw with you.

And as much as God says I need to love my neighbor, I'm sorry, but you're making it really easy to break that rule.

The last straw came when my mother was in town to visit. She was here from Montana. Perhaps you missed the Montana license plates on her car? Or that the white Explorer has never been at our place in the past. I mean, you know exactly when the mail comes each day and even commented that the Big Guy and I both drive silver cars. So, you had to have known that she was visiting.

So, one afternoon, as my mother is leaving to go to my grandfather's house, you proceeded to stop her and tell her in front of all the neighbors collecting their mail, "You can't park there! That's for visitors!"

And when my mother so kindly said, "Yes, I know. I'm a visitor." you continued to tell her that the spot was for visitors, and that we as town-home dwellers have "...2 spaces, the garage and your drive way, that's it!".

After countless statements of, "I'm a visitor, I'm visiting my daughter" you finally came around and said, "OH, you don't live there? I thought you were her sister."

And as flattered as my mom was, she seriously thinks you need to get your eyes checked because she has more gray hair than she would like, and is clearly pushing 60.

So, as much as I'll say a little prayer for you, I'm sorry to say that you won't find me leaving you cookies at Christmas time.


I got the idea for this blog post from The Jason Show. I never thought to do this on a blog, and boy do I feel better. I try to make this a family-friendly bloggy, but I am human, and I need to vent my frustrations just as much as the next person.