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Monday, October 06, 2008

I Have a Confession....

....I already started Christmas shopping.

(insert wide eyes, a gasp and a "Nuh-uh!" here)

Yes, it's true. I've started.

The Big Guy and I started talking about our Christmas lists the other day while at his parent's place for dinner. The Big Guy's sister shared an idea for one of the nephews and that's how the conversation got started.

I am VERY proud of the Big Guy's gift. He didn't even ask for it--but I know he wants it and I got a great deal on it. Granted, it's going to be his only gift, but he'll be excited, I know it.

In fact, it's better than the blue tooth headset that he asked for! Ha ha!

So, why start so early? Well, you see, I live in Minnesota. And by holiday time, it's usually cold. So a trip to the mall goes something like this:

  • Warm up car 15 minutes before you head out
  • Bundle up in down-parka, hat and mittens
  • Grab list and purse
  • Search endlessly for car keys and realize that they are in the car that is warming up
  • Walk quickly to the car, get in and slam the door
  • After door has slammed, say out loud "BRRRR! It's so cold!!"
  • Drive down the road listening to the car tires crunch the snow and make lots of creaking and squeaking sounds (known as the "Minnesota Cold Car Noise")
  • Roast in the car wearing your hat, mittens and parka with the heat blasting.
  • Realize that you have control over the heat and turn it from the red hot zone to the middle cold/hot zone
  • Get to the mall search endlessly for a parking space doing the Parking Space Creep & Crawl
  • Find a space at the very end of the row and tell all in the car, "A walk will do us good!"
  • Turn off the car, pile out of the car and walk at a 10 mile per hour pace to the store doors
  • While walking a 10 mile per hour pace, you skid and slip all over the parking lot and you say to yourself, "Geez...why are we walking so fast in these conditions?"
  • Get to the door, and get blasted with the heat from the store entry way
  • Take off glasses that have now been fogged up by the blast of heat and exclaim "Whoa!" as you walk in
  • Stumble your way to the carts
  • Take off jacket, hat and mittens and dump them into the cart leaving no room for the goods
  • Battle your way through the mall, store, etc. to find that most of what you've wanted is already picked over and the idea of a rain check means you have to come out to the mall again.
  • After 5 hours at the mall, a cart full of goods, you bundle up to head out and do it all over again. This time, however, the car isn't warmed up and you now have to sit in the car for 15 minutes chattering your teeth, rubbing your mitten hands together saying, "This is crazy" and "Why didn't we just order online?"

And that my friends is why I do my shopping now, instead of in November/December.

2 comments:

Hula Girl at Heart said...

No offense, but this is why I can't live in Minnesota. I just don't have the stamina. I think it would crush my will to live past January. But then, I don't even like winter in Kentucky. I'm a wuss.

Jason, as himself said...

I was about to tell you that you were a very, very sick woman. But then I read all of that winter stuff and realized that if I still lived in a cold climate, I would be doing exactly the same thing by now.

I so do not miss those harsh, cold winters. Not one bit.