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Thursday, January 01, 2009

Secret Single Behavior....

Do you remember that Sex and the City episode where Carrie and Aidan move in together and have issues with space--specifically, getting use to sharing space?

No? Well...let me refresh your memory! Here's a clip.

Danger! Danger Will Robinson! If you have kids present or cover your ears every time someone says a bad word--you might want to skip watching this clip. The F-bomb is used as well as the S-word (a lot).

But it is funny. Really funny.

For the record, my favorite part is when Carrie says, "...and putting on Rogaine and the speed stick!" while making roll-on gestures.

Anyway, today on the talk radio station I heard it being discussed that a man reconnected with a high school buddy on facebook. He said that he and his friend did the after-high-school-catch-up and found that his friend was married, but he and his wife live in separate houses.

Married and living apart.

Part of me thought, "OH! I would SOOOOOO be into that."

I mean, I love the Big Guy very much. But I am also an only child who until college never shared space with anyone. After college and in graduate school--I had my own place. I'm still very used to my own space. I'm still also very used to that Secret Single Behavior. If I want to eat peanut butter and cool-whip for dinner, I should be able too.

I will also let it be known that when the Big Guy works his night shift (8 days a month), I LOVE IT. I get the house to myself. I get the bed to myself. I get the remote to myself and can watch 8 episodes of M*A*S*H back to back if I want and not feel bad.

But then I thought about it and being married is being part of a team. How can you be a team if you live in different houses?

While I like time to myself--and I always will--I know that what I am feeling is normal. All of my girlfriends who are in relationships (married, dating, etc) love to have time to themselves. One of my friends told me recently that she realized that since being married, she really hasn't had a decent nights sleep. She sleeps better when her husband is not there. I was so happy to hear that because I'm the same way.

So, while initially I thought that two homes would be so ideal, the reality is--it isn't. I think I felt this way because our current place is small (2 bed, 1 bath). We rent and while we can't wait to own a home, we want to make sure that we buy in the right place. We love our small town. But...what if he gets a new job? What if I get a new job? While we aren't looking (we both like what we do), the economy is crap and you never know what is coming down the pike! I don't want to buy a house here and then find out in a year that we need to move because of new opportunities and then I'm stuck with a house that won't sell. There are SO MANY houses for sale in our town.

Therefore, my initial reaction is based on the fact that I'm tired of tripping over shoes by the back door and having to clean up the cat business.

Marriage is not something to enter into lightly. And while the Big Guy and I have known for some time that we would be doing this, I know that I want to live at the same address. The Big Guy is the first person I think of when I want to share news. He's also the person I curse at when I find only a small sliver of cheese left in the drawer in the fridge.

When it doesn't come time to buy a home, we will just need to make sure that our house has a basement for a man cave and a huge office/crafting space for me.

Both wired with cable.
And internet.


hulagirlatheart said...

Oh, you'll adjust. Of course, this comes from someone who takes her half of the bed out of the middle.

Nancy said...

2 Houses is too extreme but separate bedrooms would solve alot of problems. I will have my own bedroom if I ever get a husband. Most likely because I snore and I will be the problem! Nancy