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Friday, October 14, 2011

This has to STOP....

Back in March when I was on my way back from a work trip from Chicago, I had dinner with Julie and her family.  I got to their house and before we loaded up in the car to leave, I noticed this on their kitchen counter:

I joked and said, "New lunch box for Little Miss L?"
Julie said, "No, that's Micah's." (her husband)

When Micah came down to the kitchen so we could leave I said, "Nice retro lunch box, Micah-san!"  To which Micah said to me, "Oh.  I love the Karate Kid!  And don't even get me started on the remake with Will Smith's kid.  I have boycotted that movie."

I sat there wide eyed.
I exclaimed, "ME TOO!!!"

I just couldn't watch the remake.  The memories from 7th grade, going to see that movie in the theatre full of other 7th graders, cheering and clapping when he kicked the snot out of Johnny with the crane technique.  I'm sorry.  But nothing can replace Karate Kid.

But this has become an epidemic, people.

First...it was the Karate Kid.

My first cassette tape that I ever bought was the Footloose Soundtrack.  And believe it or not, I can play the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon game using myself.  Really.  I don't talk about this, but I do have a friend who's immediate family includes an A list movie star.

Just sayin'.

And now there are movies popping up left and right that are slated for a remake. 
Did you hear that Steel Magnolia's is next? 
Yes it is. 

So, I thought I'd give my list of movies, from my junior high & high school years, that should never, ever, ever be remade.

Top Gun:
I'm sorry, say what you want about Tom Cruise, I love him still.  And no matter how hard you try to remake that volleyball scene, it just won't be the same.  I have to admit that I bought a fake leather jacket with the patches on it to match his Top Gun jacket. 

No. No. No. No.  Don't do it.  Sean Astin was probably one of my first crushes and I had his pictures in my room from Bop magazine and Tiger Beat.  When this movie came out, oh my word....I watched it over and over again.  And yes.  I now own the DVD.  Thankyouverymuch.

Sixteen Candles:
Long Duck Dong.  Farmer Ted. 
Enough Said.
Oh, and my favorite line, "She at the church, she getta mar-ed to oily bo-hunk."

Farris Buhler's Day Off:
"I asked for a car, and I got a computer." 
"You're Abe Froman?  The Sausage King of Chicago." 
"My best friend's, sister's, boyfriend's, brother's, girlfriend, who heard from this guy, who knows this kid, who's going with a girl saw Ferris pass out at 31 flavors last night.  I guess it's pretty serious."

Who could remake this movie to this level?  No one. 

What about you?
What movies do you put your foot down regarding a remake?


Rebecca Jo said...

I'm not sure how I feel about Footloose...I do love me some dancing. But am DISGUSTED the soundtrack has gone country! COUNTRY? Really?!?!?

I was shocked when I heard that about Steel Magnolias too!

Another one? The Breakfast Club... NO REMAKEY! Or The wizard of oz... oh, wait... boo! FAILURE! My mom still says "Return to Oz" is pure blasphemy!

Mark said...

I am right there with you. I was totally pissed when they remade Willy Wonka. I mean, why? Honestly, why take an excellent movie and try to remake it? Take a sucky movie and try to make it better. But not classics. I won't watch any of these remakes. Never! m.